just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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