My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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