I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
