I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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