walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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