Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
