Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
