thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
