He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
soo... how was my night?
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