you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
