I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
