You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
