All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
