You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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