Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
