I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
