Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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