i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
