the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
