I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
