Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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