sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
