We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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