I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
