I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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