wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
