Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
