so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
