The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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