maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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