? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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