the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this just has baby written all over it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
