Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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