...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
