3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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