I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
