i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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