our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
