i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
