how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
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