I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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