You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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