This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
