Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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