Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
