I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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