I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
