Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
