hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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