There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am one with the molecules
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
